The last time I was truly happy

I am no expert on happiness and have learned a lot about what happiness is NOT.

Last year I had moments of sheer, unadulterated bliss.

This was a bit foreign to me but man was is AWESOME.

It had a lot to do with a two things.

One being Oneness.

Another being giving up (you can read more about this in one of my most popular blog posts What Happened When I Stopped Trying).

When I gave up and decided to just BE and go with the flow and guess what? Life flowed in a beautiful, glorious way. How about that? It was fascinating! And so very freeing for me.

Now in those first few weeks of giving up trying to: be more ~ do more ~ diet ~ exercise ~ figure out what the fuck I was doing with my life ~ be perfect ~ thinner ~ better (are you exhausted yet? I sure was), things were hard. How could I change this mind that had been the same way, thinking the same things forever?? But I did. Each and every time my mind would wander to the thoughts that had plagued me for a lifetime, I would steer them to the present and to NOT thinking about any of that stuff I wrote above. I would actually tip my head to the side as if to say ‘NO! MIND – DO NOT DO THAT!’ I was often doing this a few times AN HOUR! But after a few weeks it became easier and easier. It helped that spring was coming and I was out and about more (New England winters can be a bitch).

One day, I was at Castle Island, in South Boston and spring was in full effect. I laid under this tree on a small blanket.

Image

I almost wept.

Seriously.

As I lay there, a feeling of complete bliss came over me.

I was beyond happy and grateful to be laying there, basking in the sun, under this miracle of nature.

My family joined me a bit later and we ate cupcakes and played in the park.

I felt that life could not get any better.

This feeling continued through the spring and into the summer.

During the summer I had to work a little harder at shifting my mind because my physical body did not look as I wanted (and this was something I struggled with most of my life ‘How was I not going to be a fatty in the summer.’ Ugh). But I shifted my thoughts to how fucking good I felt and how that was WAY more worth it than worrying about my extra weight. Even when I had to have my favorite guy friend hoist me out of the water because I couldn’t pull myself into his boat after trying to go tubing ~ this was all quite humiliating folks and could have sent a gal over the edge ~ I managed to keep my thoughts light and of self-acceptance. It was HARD but I did it.

Then in the fall, I went to a spiritual growth weekend to deepen my awakening with Oneness.

It was awesome. I just loved it.

AND!! I felt I was given (downloaded from the Divine, if you will) the most fabulous idea for business. I had always wanted to create a business for myself, mostly online, that could help me serve the world, my family and myself. So there I was at my Oneness Blessing weekend and BOOM! Idea after idea after idea, all under this sweet little umbrella.

I went home and executed my idea immediately. A divine idea Divinely given? Can’t lose right?

Well I did.

Not ‘lose’ per se but maybe more like missed the mark.

Now I know why.

All my anxieties, stresses and the over-minding I had been doing my whole life took over. As I sprang into action, I changed my blissful way of thinking to the DO MORE BE MORE GIT SHIT DONE NOW of yesteryear. But I believed I COULD make this all better and more and perfect. It seemed perfect. As I tried to drive the bus. As I tried to push and create.

I gave up pretty quickly and feel embarrassed about that.

AND then just went into a place in my mind where there tends to be a suckage-fest.

All the old crap came back.

Oh dear lord where is my blissful spring????

Will I ever be happy like that again?

Where can I go get a lobotomy?

So what has happened this year?

Ah, my friends, you will just have to wait.

Part II will come soon.

Please share any of your comments on bliss or your own life journey’s and lessons in the comments below here or on my Facebook page.

Thank you for reading and sharing!

Love,

Adrienne

Possibility Tour Interview: Oneness Meditator Andy Migner

Spirituality has spoken to me for a long time.

I have wanted to be more spiritual but could not seem to find a place for myself to do so.

Conventional religious institutions did not speak to me.

I felt fine with a lot of the concepts of religion but did not want to dive in and align myself with one particular sector.

I spent a lot of time thinking what it ‘should’ look like and searching through books, seminars etc.

Then I came apon the Oneness Blessing Movement through my friend, Andy Migner, and I knew I had found my place!

When you attend an Oneness Blessing or Oneness Meditation event, you receive Divine love and energy through the blesser or the meditator. This channel of energy is said to create shifts in the receiver so that they begin to become ‘awakened’. Andy speaks of the interchange between the Meditator and a person and how it is a reminding – a reminding to your self, the real true loving you, a reminding of the Divine IN YOU!

I love that!

Awakening is a process which just brings you back to you. Brings you closer to your Divine (the Divine OF YOUR CHOICE!) and helps you begin to feel you have more ‘Oneness’ with the world, the earth, and the people around you.

I always believed that in becoming more spiritual, I would become less of myself.

Less of a spaz, less extroverted, less heavy metal loving, less bad ass. And this made me sad, cranky and not excited to be more spiritual!!

Well, for me, the journey now has been the opposite.

The Oneness Blessings and Meditations that I have received have been amazing.

And have NOT made me less of myself but more of myself which feels WAY more expansive.

I am sometimes WAY more of a spaz.

But I don’t care now, I embrace it more.

I am embracing my extrovertedness and no longer hating that part of myself.

Actually a lot less hating of myself overall!

I love love love heavy metal AND spiritual music! I really love all music and this has become more apparent.

And yup, I feel more bad ass.

WOO HOO!

And my FAVORITE thing about the Oneness movment?

No rules to follow.

No book to read.

No ‘shoulds’.

Just blessings that help you get back to you.

It is truly amazing I believe.

And I could not wait to share this interview with you.

So I brought my friend and Oneness Meditator, Andy Migner, who has a wonderful way of sharing about the Oneness Blessings and the whole movement.

She shares her experiences and explains all about the movement – it’s origins and it’s intentions.

I share my experiences as well.

I think you will really enjoy this interview!

 

Here are some links for more info:

General Oneness website:

http://www.onenessuniversity.org

Oneness USA:

http://www.onenessusa.org

Oneness Massachusetts:

http://www.onenessma.org

For more info about Andy Migner, visit:

http://www.mayallbepeaceful.com

Thank you so much for watching and please feel free to share with friends!

Love,

Adrienne

The best way to keep up with more videos like this and the latest and greatest is here:

www.facebook.com/adriennemartincom

 

Connecting to your light

There is a light that is inside each and every one of us and it shines very, very brightly.

Yesterday, I could not connect to this light and I think that is one of the reasons I was so darn cranky.

I picture this light as being an elongated diamond or a tall candle light that shines a very bright, yet soft white light, permeating through us stemming from our core area.

I think I feel crankiest when my outside self, be it my physical body or my mental state, feels so so very far from this light.

Because I have felt and connected with this light many times over the past few years and it feels so good.

And effortless too.

The times I have felt it most is when I have not been doing anything and to be truthful, I wasn’t trying to connect with it at all. A few times it really came out of the blue like the most perfect gift from the universe.

These times of connection brought deep inner peace, a calm sense that all is well, and joy was all around. And life was not any different. There were no outward changes (that one might associate with feeling good like a money windfall, weight loss, a new love, or some sort of material gain). The only thing that had changed was me and my thoughts. The times this came out of the blue, I seemed to have cultivated it by not trying to do anything at all. Seriously, a few times recently I have just stopped. Stopped trying, stopped striving, stopped obsessing about the past and future and just spent time being.

So if you resonate with anything I am saying, just try this.

See what happens if you stop trying so hard. This does not mean you don’t do your best or stop having goals or dreams. But I know for me, I have spent a lot of time in the past few years strangling the universe trying to make things happen. Being desperately attached to outcome, time, and details. When I stopped all that, I actually became more creative and more abundant (especially in the things that mattered). I would not have traded in the peace and joy I felt for anything in the world.

I do get frustrated when this connection gets lost and I feel so far from it. This usually occurs when I begin trying to control everything again and thinking I can make this connection stronger, better, fancier. 🙂 But I will tell you as I will remind myself. Have faith. It is there. We are only human and cannot be in this light 100% of the time. No, I truly believe we cannot in our human state. Does that mean every time we are away from it life sucks? No, we are just living and experiencing the world and as we all know, it’s not always a party. But can we live near this light and spend lots and lots of time bouncing around it? Yes, I know we can. And the more we all believe, breathe, trust, let go, smile, and have some fun, we can spend more time than not with this light we all share, that is for all of us to experience and enjoy.

I truly believe that it is up to you to come up with your own special way to keep your connection strong. Be it mediation, prayer, being in nature, throwing fun parties, spending more time with your kids, being more creative, helping others, just being quiet or all of the above, there is no one way, just your way. And we all deserve it. The world is a much better place with happier people around. And remember, I don’t mean happy, shiny people who no one can relate to. Live your life with all the ups and downs and connect with your light as often as you can.

Please share your thoughts on this and any suggestions you have with connecting with your light and your true self more often.

Love,

Adrienne

My 1.5 Martini Journal Entry

The other night I said to my husband, ‘I’m in the mood for a martini. A dirty, extra olives martini.’

He quickly replied, ‘I’ll head to the store and get some vodka!’

Gee, that took a lot of persuading!

A bit later, as I was making my cocktail, I couldn’t decide if this martini-at-home thing was a very adult thing to do or a very boozy thing to do.

Probably a lil o’ both.

I enjoyed my cocktail, very, very much. It was so yummy that I made a little tiny other one.

After dancing around the house to some Madonna and cleaning up the dinner dishes, I headed to bed to read and check some emails.

All of a sudden I was inspired to write in my journal.

I must’ve had blogging in mind because I wrote it as if I was blogging.

Here is what I wrote:

I have, for as long as I can remember, wanted a new life. ‘Tomorrow,’ I think ‘I will be perfect and so will my life.’

And every time I wake up to the new day, in which, of course, I will be perfect, I am still just ME. 

So I embark on the day

cranky

disappointed

angry

sad

guilty

pissy

and completely and embarrassingly unable to be ‘perfect.’

But…that has changed. 

Around 5-ish years ago, I began to play with the idea of ‘radical self-acceptance.’

 And by ‘play’ I mean ‘just barely considering’ LOL.

Yet during this time of barely considering there have been gaps. Dare I say PERFECT gaps where life has been amazing. And for no particular reason. It had been as though time stood still during those moments and I was able to see SO VERY CLEARLY how perfect life is. JUST as it IS. Just as I am. Warts and all.

These times have been fleeting, usually lasting a few days or a little over a week but I have experienced them deeply and that is what this blog is about. The journey to the abundance that IS in our every day life. Exactly as it is. 

No changes.

No striving for more.

No wishing otherwise.

(JUST)

Presence.

Peace.

Love.

Acceptance.

Being present in the moment. Being at peace with with what is. Loving all of it (yes, ALL of it). And 100% acceptance and surrender to the now. 

THAT is Everyday Abundance.

Boo Ya.”

Hey not bad for boozy journaling! LOL.

To be truthful, at that point my little buzz was gone but that delish martini must’ve sparked something in me because that shit just flowed out of me! I couldn’t stop writing.

Isn’t there an expression ‘A martini-a-day….’???

Ya, I didn’t think so.

And btw, I wanted to call my blog ‘Everyday Abundance’ but I had used it previously on wordpress and deleted it and all the other versions online were taken.

So AdrienneMartin.com it is! 🙂

But the above journal entry really does speak what is in my heart and how I feel and I didn’t want to change it or fabricate how it came to be. I’ve got lots more to share and I look forward to doing so.

Love,

Adrienne