My Biggest Fear

I was going to write a post this week about what I am eating these days but that gem is just gonna have to wait. And as will you 🙂

I want to talk about what I am afraid of most. 

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A bit over a year ago I took a self-imposed break from all things internet.

Email, facebook, all social media, and general internet ‘browsing.’

QUIT!

All of it!

Even tv (yup, even my beloved The Bold and The Beautiful was not on every day at 1:30pm).

It was hard at first.

I had anxiety and didn’t quite know what to do with myself.

But then, after about three weeks, things came together.

I was fine. 🙂

And a strong message came through.

LOVE

The message was all about love.

I even painted these:

photo-68

The message that had come across once I hushed all the external chatter from everywhere was:

Share love

Give love

Be love

Shout about love!

I cried.

I was sad and confused for a bit.

But my soul felt like it had come home.

My soul WANTS to be a cheerleader and a superhero for the forgotten part of US ALL that is a bright shiny light of love and stuff that makes us US.

But I have, since I was little, believed that being my own shiny light or celebrating others bright shiny light was stupid and that I should just be quiet and sit in the corner.

So I am afraid to shine my light.

And worse, I am afraid to champion for you to shine your light.

I am afraid to be called ‘A little Mary Sunshine.’

OMG :::shudder:::

Seriously, I do not want to be considered a Polly Anna or like someone who thinks we all crap rainbows and kittens (wouldn’t that hurt anyway?!?!).

Maybe I made up this lie about not being a shiny light.

Maybe it was taught to me.

Who cares. It does not matter.

Because now…

I am over it.

O-V-E-R IT!!

Because I have been carrying this lie around with me wearing it like a badge for far FAR too long.

So…now, NOW, while I am still afraid….

I am going for it.

I am going to cheerlead and be a superhero for…

POSSIBILITY

FREEDOM

LOVE

MIRACLES

I am still afraid but have realized it is time to step into what it is I am here to do.

It is time to get out of my own way.

So I can help you…

DO THE EXACT SAME THING.

Yup.

There I said it.

I am going to talk about

POSSIBILITY

FREEDOM

LOVE

&

MIRACLES 

…and sometimes even talk about THE DIVINE (in us, around us, and how awesome it is and how close it is to all of us). And probably talk about rainbows and kittens cuz rainbows are awesome and kittens are cute.

But also talk about how…

it is sometimes hard to connect with all those things, it can feel like a stretch, too Polly Anna, or that we are not worthy.

BUT I want you to know this…

that when we do connect with love, miracles, the divine, possibility and freedom, or when we just surrender and let ourselves look into that shiny bright part of ourselves (and others)

well…

life begins to flow…

miracles begin to happen…

possibility presents itself…

life feels freer…

love is there…

just as it has always been…

and your light begins to shine as it always has wanted to!

I am here to guide us to that place where we can all shine

NO 

MATTER

WHAT

Are you in?

Join me!

Let’s all get into that expansive, free, loving, miraculous place where life is full of possibility!

And should you fall (or forget)…

Well, I am here to pick you up.

I am hear to remind you.

You are a bright shiny light that deserves to shine and thrive. 

HEY!

We are all in it together.

So…

This is my biggest fear.

Saying all this.

Being this way.

Worrying what people will think.

I worry that I cannot uphold this all the time.

I fear upsetting people who think all this talk is bullshit.

I am conscious that I have ‘tried’ to do many other things (hello, acupuncture?? raw food?? psychic?? blogger??) and that some may be wary of this ‘new’ thing. But I know it brings all of my strengths together so I can do the work I am here to do. I know in my heart that this feels like the most expansive thing I have ever done and that I can create this umbrella in which to work under and do all the things I want to do to help others.

So I am putting fear aside.

So I can move forward.

And more importantly…help you do the same!

So I hope you will join me. I have lots coming up so stay tuned!!

With possibility, freedom, love and miracles for all,

Adrienne

Your Head Cheerleader and Superhero for Possibility, Freedom, Love & Miracles

P.S. If this post spoke to you – YAY! Awesome! Please leave a comment to let me know what you think and any of your struggles. ALSO – I am doing a FREE online 30-day class in September called CONNECTION, POSSIBILITY, AND YOU so be sure to sign up for my email updates to be the first to know about the details and to sign up! And head on over to my Facebook page – there is always something fun going on over there! 

Less Do-ing, More Be-ing

I had a dream last night that I cannot fully remember but it seems like this was being screamed over and over:

SPEND LESS TIME DO-ING AND MORE TIME BE-ING.

Interesting concept, no?

It really is the opposite of how we all learn to live.

I find that even when I am be-ing, I am thinking about do-ing or what I SHOULD be doing.

So technically I am not really be-ing at all.

It is a fact that we DO have to DO things.

But is our mind always do-ing regardless of what is going on?

Could we spend more time just be-ing?

Hmmmm……..

What are your takes on this concept?

Share in the comments below!

Thanks!

Love,

Adrienne

P.S.

Find out more about the Intuitive Guidance Sessions I am doing here.

The pesky ego (and what to do about it)

your-mind

My ego is not so cute but that’s okay (keep reading to see how mine shows up).

Over the past, say five to eight years, I have been shifting.

Beautifully shifting to a more peaceful, loving place….well, I’m tryin’ at least.

But my pesky ego is NOT going down without a fight.

Or so I thought….

All the personal growth and spirituality books I read talk about quieting the mind, minding the ego and not listening to those constant, neurotic ways of thinking. And some go on to say, that while you are doing this, beginning to quiet the mind, etc, you will notice the ego desperately clinging to life, trying to stay, trying to survive. Because if you learn to not give the ego so much weight in your everyday life, then, WHO ARE YOU?? The ego does NOT want this to happen. It is very attached to who you are, what you do, what you have done, and all kinds of external things that can define us. If attachment to all of that goes away, then ego does to. The ego is strong and has NO plans on leaving.

I notice this like it is a third limb I have. It will not go away and it is so ever present.

I have always felt there was a need to condemn this ego part of myself. I have hated myself for a LONG LONG time for being selfish, for being self-centered, for being so MEMEMEMEMEMEME. And I have an extraverted personality so my ego seems not only like a third limb but also like a big, puss filled boil that WILL. NOT. GO. AWAY.

In my quest to be more spiritual, to find more peace, I sometimes attempt to rid myself of ego-likeness. Usually in vain (ironically).

The other night, I went to the most amazing event.

It was a Oneness Meditation and Blessing. It was a truly miraculous evening for me. I cannot recommend attending one enough! GO!

Leaving the event, I was so filled with joy, so peaceful, and could not stop laughing (and for no reason at all, it was awesome). When I got home that night and went to bed and began to go into the beginnings of restful sleep, I ‘heard’ this:

‘You are special.’

I was fucking PISSED. So angry. I was so mad at myself and my ego for this thought. ‘You douche!!!’ I yelled this to myself. ‘Really?? After this beautiful event, you want to separate yourself, thinking that YOU are special?? We are all special. Get. It. Together.’ These were my thoughts.

But all of a sudden, my ego appeared to me.

It was a snake, a big, dumb snake. It looked at me, tilted it’s head and gazed at me with a childlike, goofy look. It was comical and silly. But there was also I wanting under it all.

Chinese-New-Year-2013-Cute-Snake

I began to laugh.

Oh my god, I gasped!

My ego needs some attention. It seemed to say ‘tickle me!’ and ‘let’s be silly!’ and ‘no need to be so serious!’

I realized at that moment that I do not need to shun my ego and hate it away or hope it just goes away (that’s never gonna happen no matter how much spiritual work you do). What I need to do is give it some attention, and attention from ME, not from anything outside myself which is what the ego likes to feed itself on.

I need to love my gosh darn ego!

That pesky snake, that kinda vacant minded, childlike ‘thing’ I let run the show far too often?

Well! It is now more of my friend than my foe.

If it comes in and tries to make me separate from others or it lives in judgement-land or it wants to be built up with superficial crap, well, now (as of Thursday night lol), I just laugh at it and give it a little tickle and talk to it as you would a two year old who just made a mess of it’s room. ‘You silly! What kinda silly stuff are you doing?? Let’s put on some music and dance around while we clean this up. I love you!’

Instead of yelling and swearing at it and hating myself for being so awful (and so so very HUMAN).

It was a huge relief, this new awareness, this shift in thinking.

I am hopeful to now be able to not take myself so seriously, not give my thoughts so much attention and know when my pesky little snake ego needs a little tickle.

So notice when your mind begins to judge others, or when it begins to create separation thoughts as mine did, or even when we are always relying on outside things to build us up and make us feel whole.

Does your ego need some attention from you?

Quiet your mind for just a moment and see what you see/hear/think/feel.

Share your experience in the comments below!

Thanks!

Love,

Adrienne

Illness Gratitude

thank you

Since December, I have had the stomach flu, two head colds, the regular flu flu, and currently bilateral knee inflammation.

Good times.

But let’s back up a bit and tell a lil story.

Around my 43rd birthday in early November, I panicked and felt that if I did not begin to reach for my dreams I was going to wake up in twenty years and not have accomplished any of my goals.

So I embarked on a P-L-A-N.

Isn’t there a quote ‘If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans?’

plan

Well, I am sure someone is laughing because my plan was in vain.

But it did not start out that way.

I was ON IT.

I picked a date to ‘launch,’ I was creating, excited, waking up early every morning, intending and focusing on service.

Doing all the right things….so I thought.

Then I got sick with the stomach flu. No big deal as we know, the flu virus is crazy this year and I have little kids and we all passed it around. It look way longer to recover and even longer to get back on track with my ‘plan.’

Then I got a head cold. And then another one.

THEN the regular flu (fever, aches, chills, fatigue).

So now it is mid January and I am WAY behind schedule.

I begin to think about a lot of things.

First, I do not get sick very often. If I do it is quick and fairly painless. This was very out of the ordinary for me and I know that this was a out of the ordinary year for the flu, but still. This didn’t seem right.

I began to think maybe this was my body’s way of saying things were off all around. I do not have a very stressful life (by design) but I was putting a lot of pressure on myself to move forward with my business. I was worrying about money a lot. I was looking at my deadline and feeling overwhelmed and a lil crazy town. I knew there was more to begin sick than just being physically ill.

THEN last week, both my knees blew up. I have a history of knee inflammation since I got a virus as a child but this was ENOUGH!

Message received loud and clear.

I was not paying attention to what I needed to do, I was stretching myself to far and not being true to my own rhythms and needs.

So my physical body decided to made it impossible for me to move forward in the way that I was.

For the last few weeks I have slowed down and decided to take my time. I have decided to move forward with things but much MUCH more slowly. I had big visions and while they will for sure be revisited but not yet. I am focusing on one or two things (instead of four like I had planned) and seeing where it all goes. With intention and focus but treading much more lightly and not being overly attached to outcome, to deadlines, to anything really.

So THANK YOU influenza virus of 2012/2013.

Thank you.

I am eternally grateful for being forced to slow down (even if it was just slowing my own crazy mind down). Grateful that I was forced to rethink my ‘plan.’

I am grateful that I am not giving up. I know my ‘plan’ was rich with good good stuff to share and do. But I am going to move forward in smaller chunks. Less pressure. More presence and joy. It wasn’t all easy. Being sick blows. Being forced to look at your crap blows even more. Tears flowed, pillows were punched, heavy sighs exhaled.

But in the end I am grateful that I got to deal with all of this. It gave me clarity and helped me realize what was important.

Agh, much better.

Have you ever had a similar experience where you were forced to slow down and regroup?

Tell us in the comments below.

Thanks!

Love,

Adrienne

Who are you comparing yourself to??

I have the absolute worst habit of surfing the ‘net and getting caught up in what others are doing and how I am not doing as well as they are etc etc.

It’s about as low energy as you can get when you are trying to move forward in your life and your business.

I hadn’t really even noticed  I was doing it until the other day when I was comparing myself to these guys:

rawbrahs-about

They just wrapped up a retreat in Costa Rica and are all tanned, fabulous, a bit outrageous, young, care-free, and on a path to help the world be a better place – their way. They are 100% THEM. It is very inspiring to see but I am jealous of the whole idea.

Really??? I thought to myself. I am going THERE!?!? I am a 43 yo SAHM who lives in New England. So just right there is NO comparison. It’s just silly. And a colossal waste of time.

But we can get caught up in these things, and while it is not horrible, it is important to catch it, notice it, and change the energy.

Last year, I went totally offline for a month and off Facebook for six months because of this very issue. Too too TOO much time looking at what OTHERS were doing.

And now, a year later, as I am about to really grow my business, I find myself doing EXACTLY the same thing, this same habit again.

Seems like a bit of self-sabotage, doesn’t it??

So I am backing off a little, less surfing, more focus, and more time doing work for me (so I can focus on helping YOU!!).

Are you comparing yourself to anyone, anything? Your neighbor? Some online person? Some thing that it is unattainable so that it keeps you feeling bad about yourself, keeps you feeling small, keeps you from stepping into who you want to be, OR keeping you from being at peace with who you are and where you are at.

So if you find yourself comparing yourself to anything, stop, check in, and change the energy. Appreciate your surroundings, all your strengths and faults, all the mess, the goodness, the stuff that makes your life rich and real even if it is not always so purdy. And be genuinely HAPPY for those who are doing things you want to do/be/etc. This is a much higher vibration and just feels better than being jealous or feeling bad about yourself. This is what I did with those cute, tanned brothers. I said ‘GOOD FOR THEM!’ And then clicked off their website and focused on what I could do to move forward in that moment.

Have you had similar experiences? Please share them below or share any tips you have to avoid the dreaded comparison trap.

Thanks!

Love,

Adrienne

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You Ain’t Gettin’ Squat Done In 2013 If You Are Distracted

But let’s be honest.

Who ISN’T distracted??

But are you letting distraction win?

I have been.

As a mom of two, my day begins before my feet hit the floor in the morning. And next thing you know, it is 2, 3, 4, 5 pm and I have no idea where the day has gone. I have gotten stuff done, sure, but have I really achieved anything I’d hoped to?

Nope.

I believe we can become addicted to distraction. I certainly have. I use it as an excuse to not move forward in my life.

Then one day not too long ago a deep, deep fear came over me.

OMG, I thought. I am going to wake up in twenty years and be in the exact place I am now. 

Not that there is anything wrong with where I am, but I have things I really want to do, I have a calling that needs tending to and every day, my feet hit the floor and I am 100% distracted by my life and all the things there are to do.

This includes things I CHOOSE to be distracted by like my beloved Facebook, my beloved daytime soap (shout out to B n’ B fans!! ;)), and general aggravations I give way too much energy.

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bnb

So between real life distractions and chosen distractions, I ain’t gettin anywhere.

And this frightens me to the core.

Some of you reading may be thinking, ‘Girlfriend, I am not just distracted, I am balls to the wall BUSY. I work, raise kids, take care of family members, and I am so exhausted by the end of the day I am just happy that I can lay my head down and get some rest.’

Or maybe you are a small business owner with a family or you are just like me, with general distractions and real life stuff that naturally take days away and that’s just life.

But if you have an aching, a calling, a project, a ‘thing’ you have always wanted to do (lose weight, be more organized, stop smoking, etc) it is so so so easy to get pulled away from this before you even begin.

Steven Pressfield, author of The War of Art, Do The Work!, Turning Pro* (and many, many more books such as The Legend of Baggar Vance), calls this RESISTANCE. And it is quite the force of nature. It wants to keep us distracted so we do not move forward in our lives and we can stay stuck. It’s classic self-sabotage.

So if you have any resolutions for 2013, and God bless you if you do, be sure distraction, resistance, and/or self-sabotage doesn’t get ya.

And I don’t want it to, you are better than that and deserve more.

In February, I will be sharing with you all something fabulous. Something easy, free, fun, and an amazing and powerful way to kick distraction’s/resistance’s/self-sabotage’s ass.

And I want to be sure to note that distraction will ALWAYS be there. ALWAYS. So this is not a thing to pretend life is not life. This is a way for YOU to be focused and successful every day. No matter what.

If you want to be one of the first to know about this, be sure to sign up for my newsletter which will also be starting in February. Just plug in your email so I know you are interested.

It’s just right over here —————————–>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> (okay, you do need to scroll up a little :))

Happy New Year and I look forward to sharing more with you! And I will be doing so not only here on my blog but every Thursday morning at 11am on Blog Talk Radio. I hope you can listen in (and archived shows are available for your listening pleasure as well).

Love,

Adrienne

* I cannot recommend these books enough. If you have ANYTHING you want to do but just can’t seem to get going, read these books. They are massively inspiring and freakin’ awesome.

Affirmations – Awesome or not so much?

I’m a big fan of personal growth stuff but have stepped away a little bit because well, too much can be, well, TOO MUCH.

It began to make me feel like I was trying to convince myself I was something I wasn’t. And that got annoying and was just not working for me.

BUT…

I do know that the mind is something that needs to be minded.

I have swam in the pool of negative thought for way too long and truly resonated with the idea of training your brain to think positively.

Books like ‘The Power of Intention’ by Wayne Dyer made a big impact on me and still do.

But I think the whole affirmation movement got a little too corny and b.s.-y for me.

YET…

I recently watched this sermon given by Joel Osteen (via Oprah’s website) and loved it.

http://www.oprah.com/oprahs-lifeclass/Pastor-Joel-Osteens-Full-Sermon-on-The-Power-of-I-Am-Video_1

AND THEN…

I just read this from Danielle Laporte and loved it too – especially the beginning quote from Pema Chodron. I was so so happy to read that someone else felt as I did and that you didn’t have to buy into the idea of affirmations as a way to ‘fake it til you make it.’

http://www.daniellelaporte.com/inspiration-spirituality-articles/affirmations-mess-you-up/

So somewhere in between, I create my own ‘affirmations’ that feel right for me and that are words and phrases that I can lean into and begin to make my own and feel like me.

Ones like:

I have lots of fun.

I have lots of freedom in my life.

I am heading in the direction of some serious awesome shit.

The ‘job’ I will do will be of great benefit to many and allow the above three affirmations to come to life.

I am a freakin’ ROCK STAR!! Well, more like…I am a stay-at-home-mom who likes to sing in the car. 🙂

What about you?

What do you think?

Affirmations – yay or nay?

Thanks for letting me know!

Love,

Adrienne

And P.S. I am doing FREE Angel Card Readings on Thursday, November 29th at 11am on blogtalkradio.com! Please join me then and call in with any questions or if you need any guidance! Here is the link with all the info and number to call in: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/adriennemartin/2012/11/29/free-angel-card-readings