Heavy & Happy?

Body image









They’re all words that are in our every day vernacular.

But for many of us, they all have a much deeper meaning.

And for a lot of us, all of these words are just crazy-making and have been for our whole lives.

In my teens, 20s & 30s, I gave a majority of my energy, my precious mental energy, to thinking about how fat I was and how I could quickly get skinny.

This mama (me) spent this particular weekend away feeling fat & miserable. Feels like such a waste of energy now. 😦

Good times.

Now, in my 40s, I would LOVE to be as ‘fat’ as I thought I was!

I have put on weight.

I am carrying extra weight.

But for the first time in my life, I do not give it a lot of mental energy.

And when I do – because I do out of habit, a lifetime of habit – I shift myself away from these thoughts.

My precious mental energy, my spirit & my life deserve so much more.

I found that over the past few year that any time I would decide to ‘diet’ or radically change my diet (read: restrict), I would become so cranky. So irritable. And kinda nasty to those I love.

My spirit cried out. ‘Oh girlfriend, not again with this!!!’

So I stopped. Stopped thinking about dieting, losing weight and being ‘thin.’

And whenever I did, I just shifted my thoughts.

AWAY AWAY AWAY from ‘You are fat’ type of thoughts.

I have allowed myself to eat whatever I want.

Whenever I want.

And guess what?

I have gained weight.

And while this is not the best thing ever, or the most surprising thing ever, I don’t worry too much about it.


Because I cannot remember the last time I binged.

I did a lot of binge-before-dieting type behavior and that has added to my weight gain.

Now I rarely feel ‘sick’ after eating.

I used to eat A LOT because I knew I would be dieting, fasting or cleansing soon. Knew that soon I would be cutting all the horrible things out of my diet so I constantly overate as if I was in a panic. Exhausting, I tell ya.

And I’d feel very stuffed & bloated all the time. And I felt ‘sick’ so no wonder I felt the need to fast, cleanse, take a break from ‘bad’ foods.

I hardly ever do now.

I used to eat a TON of pasta because I knew that I ‘shouldn’t’ and would be cutting it out of my diet ASAP.

I love pasta and eat it now, occasionally. Some weeks more than others but I do not crave it like crazy like before.

I used to go out to eat to ‘treat’ myself before the big restriction was coming and I had a favorite place that included a very large meal & boozy drinks that I would have (read: stuff madly into my pie hole).

I can’t remember the last time I did that.

So while I am carrying extra weight, I am mentally lighter.

I am less stressed and less crabby around this stuff.

I eat well, often quite ‘healthy.’

My goal is to completely trust that my physical being will catch up with my spiritual & mental lightness and I will be able to achieve a weight that is perfect for me and do this easily.

And the more I focus on creating a mindset that is positive & full of possibility, ease, miracles & fun the more easy it is to make good decisions for myself. It has really works wonder. My mindset has become my biggest asset – ass size be damned! 😉

But seriously, I have stopped gaining weight and whilst I’m at a plateau, I feel good.

My spirit, my soul & my personality love variety, experiences, freedom & fun. Eating a restrictive diet of ANY kind, I have now learned (slowly but surely), makes me a complete nutbag, a bitch & a sad sack. Just a big ole sack o’ sad. I KNOW how to eat well. I KNOW I can eat what I want in a normal capacity especially if I’m not feeling like a crazed animal locked in a cage (cuz then I eat everything in sight). I love things like green juice, smoothies, salads & all kinds of healthy foods. But I crave variety & freedom so the thought of ONLY eating these foods does my spirit no. good. I am learning to trust myself and out of that trust has come a much more balanced way of eating. And that feels good.

I recently joined a gym. To keep my body moving through our chilly (although not lately!) New England winter. No big goals. No stressful goals. Just movement. Keeping moving is so important, mostly because it feels good!


So heavy & happy?

Yup, pretty much!

And yup, I have to continually remind myself that while I could easily lose weight fast with a very restrictive diet & lots of exercise, I want to be in a place where I do not have to do that. I want to enjoy life, experience everything. Not worry about what I am eating. And as I slowly but surely trust myself & know that it’s all coming together because I FEEL so much better mentally, I will get to a place of balance – body, mind & spirit.

Patience, trust, gratitude.

That’s where it’s at.

That’s where I’m at (or at least shift to when I’m not). Some days/weeks go better than others but after a lifetime of this, it takes time to not to think the thoughts you always have. Patience, I remind myself, patience. And remembering how good I feel, how ‘light’ my mind feels is so very important!

I hope that wherever you are in your journey to making peace with yourself (if you have to like I do), that you are patient, kind, trusting & feeling grateful for the awesome & strong person you are.

Because you really are.

Yes. You.





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The Surrender Experiment

I’m not that great at reviews so I’ll get right to the point.



Honestly, I believe it’s changed my life.

It’s a memoir, one man’s journey…to himself.

It’s a FASCINATING read.

I don’t think everyone will get the same thing out of reading it. I don’t believe it will speak to everyone. It’ll have a different message for everyone.

Mine was/IS:




I’m a very controlling person so I say NO to a lot of things because I want control everything. I often hold an energy of ‘YOU CAN’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO.’ Even if it’s a really fucking good idea, I’ll just say NO just to say NO! I’m kind of a brat but this has also been a defense mechanism, protecting me from things I feel I need protection from. So this works sometimes. Sometimes it’s appropriate to say NO. But I no longer feel I need to protect myself. So when I read this book and the author, Michael Singer’s, experience saying YES to everything that showed up in his life, I was BLOWN AWAY (there are lots of other points to the book but this is one of the main ones). I think it spoke to me so much, and on a deep soul level, because it’s time I trust. Fully trust. And say YES. TO MY LIFE. (for fuck’s sake. finally say YES to my life!!)

Since I’ve started saying YES, things have been flowing better than I could’ve ever imagined. I even said YES recently to something and then something else came on my radar. So I said YES to that. Hilariously it was something I had previously said NO to. Ah, but the Universe knows better! It was perfect. Everything flowed just perfectly. The Universe gave me EXACTLY what I needed. The first thing I said YES to was a very benign thing and it didn’t matter that I said YES to something else, I would not have said YES to thing 2 if it would’ve (just wanted to clarify, I’m not haphazardly saying YES and not being mindful of my actions).

Like I said, I don’t think everyone will get the same message out of this book but the story of Michael’s life is amazing and I think most of us could benefit from whatever message is pulled out. Or in my case, JUMPED OUT AND SLAPPED ME IN DA FACE. 😀

Michael also wrote The Untethered Soul, which I’m reading now. It’s good stuff as well.

Have you read it? Tell us what you thought of it!

Are you going to read it? Awesome! You should.

Any amazing books like this you can recommend? I’d love to hear and I’m sure others would as well.

The next book I want to read is Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert who wrote Eat. Pray. Love.

Feel free to share your recommendations.



The greatest gift driving for Uber has given me

Here I am being silly with my Surge Pricing Queen Crown on. No, I don't wear it with riders in the car!
Here I am being silly with my Surge Pricing Queen Crown on. No, I don’t wear it with riders in the car!

I have been driving for Uber in Boston for six months.


For three reasons.

  1. I need a job that gives me a ridiculous amount of flexibility.
  2. I need to help our family with the finances.
  3. I need to work while I figure out what is next for me in my career.

Enter Uber, the most perfect job for me that not only fits my personality but those three needs like a glove!

What I did not expect are the amazing & surprising side effects that have occurred for me as well!

There are two pretty straightforward ones – I get to get out of the house and interact with adults which is wonderful. Love my kids and that I get to be home with them but good gravy, Mama’s got to get out!! Also, I get to contribute to our family’s bank account and that has helped my sense of self-worth. So those are pretty cool. Dig ’em.

But what else has happened while I drive around, while I talk to people, while I think about what is next for me, is that I try to focus on what I want. What to do I want my days look like? Feel like? What on Gods green earth do I want to do with myself???

Truth is I am not 100% sure. I have a ton of ideas (yup, I write them all down), I have a ton of interests (but would any of them make a good career??) and I know I could make anything really ‘work.’

But I want much more than just a job. Or just a career that I am making ‘work.’

So as I have been driving around, pondering, feeling so very grateful for Uber and the opportunity to drive whenever I want and make money, I realized one thing.


Tons of freedom.

Freedom of time & schedule.

Freedom to be creative.

Freedom to meet and talk with people.

Freedom to be me. 100% in my life AND CAREER.

Freedom to travel.

Freedom to MAKE EPIC SHIT HAPPEN (should I want to).

Freedom to make my family a priority (hard to believe that would be a ‘freedom’).

I just wanna feel free.

And OMG, driving for Uber has given me a taste of what that freedom feels like. I love driving in the car. Windows down, music blasting. Then I pick someone up. We chat (or don’t). I have had some amazing & inspiring conversations with some wonderful people. That is something I love doing. PLUS, I work whenever I want. THAT feels amazing.


The biggest gift driving for Uber has given me?

It has allowed me to connect with the sense of freedom I want in my life. Condition-free freedom. That is what I want. And if I had not been driving for Uber and connecting with how important that is for me in my life and for my future career, I know I would be searching for WAY longer than I might be. Or I might pick something just to pick something and not have the clarity that this time has given me to figure out how imperative FREEDOM is to & for me.


Feels good!

Clarity, freedom, flexibility, it all feels so good!

Thank you Uber!

I am so grateful for all of this!

Want to drive for Uber?

Click here to sign up via my referral link.

Maybe it will create some clarity (and money!) for you too!

Have more questions about driving for Uber? Ask away or click on my Drive for Uber page with more blogs & videos where I share my experiences.

Thanks for reading!



I see triple numbers

Not dead people.

I don’t see dead people.

Although, I do sometimes sense them but that is another blog post for another time.

But I digress.

Do you believe in signs from the Universe?

I kinda do.

I say ‘kinda’ because I am a bit skeptical even though I know, like really know, there are energetic forces all around us that we can tap into at any time.

For example, yesterday I was floating on a pond. It was so peaceful. I stared up at the sky and knew I only had a few moments of peace (I have small kids!) so I thought to myself, ‘Universe, God, whoever, send me a sign. Any kind of sign.’ My thoughts were a bit spazzy and I was not in any kind of trance or meditative space, just breathing and trying to chill for a few moments. As I stared up into the sky, I was thinking about what a spaz I am. Then a dragonfly flew by in the sky. No big deal right? Except dragonflies are one of my ‘spirit animals’ or ‘spirit guides.’ I’ve got one hanging in my car (it’s a necklace, not a real one). I had one guide me in a shamanic journey this year (that’s another story for another time!). So the fact that a dragonfly flew above me was a sign. I am not sure for what but who cares. It’s pretty cool.

I drive a lot. Like a lot because I am a mom, an over-errander & an Uber driver.

When I am out driving, I see triple numbers ALL THE TIME.

Now being out on the road a lot, you really do see triple numbers everywhere.

But I see them. Constantly. Everywhere.

For example,

One day, not driving for Uber, I was getting on the highway. The lane to merge onto the highway ended a lot sooner than I expected and I was going faster than I should have (I know, I know, bad girl). I missed an 18 wheeler by a foot and swerved into another lane, barely missing another car.

Once my nerves settled, I thought to myself, ‘Good gravy. Angels really ARE looking out for me.’

And JUST as I had this thought, I glanced over at a car license plate and it had the numbers 444 on it.

So as I was thinking ‘OMG Angels are watching over me,’ I see 444.

Triple 4’s often represent Angels and a reminder that they are with you & looking over you.

Every time I look at my phone to see the time, I always seem to catch it at a triple number time.
Every time I look at my phone to see the time, I always seem to catch it at a triple number time.














Occasionally, I will be driving and my mind will be racing all over the place and I will see 777 which is my sign for trust and that there are miracles coming into your life. It is always nice to see these numbers and the wisdom & messages they carry.

Ironically (or not) a few days after I took this picture , I picked some folks up here, Hmmmmm……
Seen on a truck in front of me in traffic.
An Uber fare












My favorite website for the meaning of these numbers is http://sacredscribesangelnumbers.blogspot.com/.

You can also google ‘What does 222 mean’ and usually the first site or so to come up is one of hers. It is great info, I even keep them on my phone for quick reference.

So keep a lookout for those numbers. Know that they just might be messages for you, especially if you see them a lot.

A cool thing you can do is calculate your Life Purpose Number here and notice if you see this number a lot. It’s a great sign that you are on your path and doing what you are supposed to be doing.

Do you believe in messages from the Universe? God? Angels? Guides?

I am a believer that anything is possible. And when things like this keep happening, it is hard not to believe!

If you have had any experiences like this do share in the comments below!

Hope you enjoyed this post!



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5 Minute Chicken Soup











Now most of us will realize that there is no way to actually make a five minute chicken soup unless you are just heating some up that is already made!


I swear, this FEELS like it takes five minutes!

I love this recipe because it’s so easy, it yields a ton of food and then you do it all over again with your cooked chicken carcass (sounds so lovely, doesn’t it? CAR-K-ASSSSS) to make a stock.

All of which are full of nutrients and homemade goodness!

Such a big win that you are going to feel like a bigger superstar than you already are!

YO, that’s big!

Ok, here’s what to do (I will post a full recipe at the bottom).

Throw a whole chicken in a stock pot (I recommend a local and/or organic chicken).











Don’t forget to take out the innards! If you are brave, which I am not, you can do something with those innards.

Now throw in some chopped onion, garlic, carrots, celery and a half a head of Italian flat leaf parsley.

So pretty!












Add in a few bay leaves, some salt (sea or some high quality salt like pink Himayalan) and pepper.

Don’t be afraid to be heavy handed with the salt, it makes it taste much better. Less salt = dirty dish water flavor. More salt = deliciousness. If you are afraid, just add one teaspoon to start and then taste, you can always add more.

Now top with water, I use fresh spring, filling it to about 1 inch over your ingredients.

Bring to a boil.

Then cover and simmer for at least two hours (not five minutes LOL). Longer is better and I usually do 3-4 hours.

Simmering away on the stove! Just put the lid on and forget about it (at least for a few hours!).
Simmering away on the stove! Just put the lid on and forget about it (at least for a few hours!).












Once I have cooked the soup for a few hours I remove the parsley, bay leaves and the whole chicken.

The bird carcass with a bit of the veggies and parsley taken out of the pot.











I take out all the good meat that we like (mostly the white and a bit of the thigh) and add it back to the soup. I take the rest of the darker meat and make some chicken salad for my husband.

We then eat the chicken soup as is or over noodles, rice or potatoes.

My favorite way to have it is when reheating, add in some greens like spinach or kale and heat until they are just slightly wilted and bright green. I take this delicious combo of soup and greens and put it on top of a small (or large, who am I kidding) mound of mashed potatoes.

I freeze any that is leftover but usually there is not!

Once the stock pot is available again, I pretty much do the same thing over again.

And...we're back in the pot again!!
And…we’re back in the pot again!!










In the pot goes the delicious looking carcass, some garlic, onion, carrot ends, celery ends, the parsley & bay leaves from the first soup and some fresh as well.

Fill with water and add salt and pepper. Bring to boil and the simmer a few hours. Strain out liquid and you have this glorious broth/stock!

You yield so much stock you have to freeze it! It is a perfect kitchen item to have on hand for so many recipes!









Many folks I know are now drinking bone broth for health! Try it – have a cup o broth – and see how you feel! It is perfect on a cold day and is filled with immune boosting nutrients! I also use it as a soup base instead of water, or I’ll add it to pasta or risotto. It is amazing to have on hand to use – it adds so much flavor to dishes and I find I am using so much less butter because the stock gives that fat flavor and feel.


So no, it does not take 5 minutes.

But after a few times of doing this, it will. Once a week make this or something like it so you have homemade, delicious and nutritious food every week!

Here is the recipe for easy reading…


1 whole chicken (be sure take that stuff out of the inside!)

3-5 cloves garlic (or more), chopped

1 large yellow onion or two medium, peeled and chopped

3 medium to large carrots, chopped

1/2 head celery, chopped (including those inner small ones and leaves – so much flavor in these)

1/2 head Italian flat leaf parsley (or a whole one if it is small)

2-3 bay leaves

2-3 Tablespoons sea salt

1 1/2 teaspoons black pepper

9 cups water (or enough water to cover your ingredients 1 inch)

1. Add all ingredients into a stock pot

2. Bring to a boil

3. Cover and simmer for at least 2 hours, 4 or more is best

4. Remove parsley, bay leaves and chicken and place on a large dish

5. Pick out the meat you want and add it back to your soup

6. Taste and add more salt and/or pepper if you need to

7. Serve as is or over pasta, rice or potatoes

Chicken Stock

1. Place your leftover chicken carcass in an empty stock pot along with the bay leaves and parsley you removed from the soup

2. Add in a carrot or two and any leftover carrot ends you have as well as a few stalks of celery and any leftover ends of those

3. Add a few cloves of garlic (as many as you’d like! adds a tons of immunity boosting flavor) and one or two onions, chopped

4. If you have any fresh parsley left over, throw that in too! And a fresh bay leaf or two

5. Top with water, adding a few extra cups (at least 3-4 inches above your ingredients) and add 2 Tablespoons sea salt and 1 teaspoon black pepper

6. Bring to a boil and cover and simmer for a good 3-4 hours. Be sure to taste to know if you need to add any more salt or pepper

7. Strain and put into containers and freeze whatever you are not going to use within a week

Here is the approximate break down of the cost in case you were wondering. 

Whole Organic Chicken $15.00

A few organic carrots $1.50

A stalk of organic celery $1.99

Bag of organic yellow onions $3.99

Head of garlic $0.99

Head of organic Italian Flat Leaf Parsley $1.49

Container of Bay Leaves $2.99

Total cost (ish) = $24.oo

And our family of four got…

2 full meals (add in a few dollars or so for starch or side dish with chicken soup) plus two lunches of chicken salad and 7  containers of stock (approximately 80 ounces!).

I’d say that is a bargain!

And I do not think you can quantify the goodness of homemade food – it is priceless IMHO.

I hope you enjoy this recipe – please feel free to share it with anyone you think would enjoy it!

Do you add anything else into your soup or stock? I know folks who add in things like cilantro and whatever herbs they have around. Other people throw in immune boosting herbs, mushrooms and roots.

I wish you a very happy and healthy 2015!



I am a trained warrior

I am a trained warrior of…


Is anything ever going to work out?


Oh here I go again, loserville!!!


There is not enough money! How can I make money? What are we going to do?


You are a big, fat piece of crap and as you know, you do not deserve to breathe the air everyone else does.


Why is that person such an ass?? Can you believe what so-in-so said?? OMG – you are not going to believe THIS!!

and more of the like.

These are things I learned early on and my spirit seemed to let them stick.

I have been spinning these wheels a long time.

At this point in my life (and for a long time) it is completely by choice (although it seems eerily automatic) and I can CHOOSE MY THOUGHTS.

My thoughts do not have to rule me.

I can make the choice to think otherwise.

This is my most important journey and exactly why I have begun this self-care journey.

I believe that my answers and help understanding how I work and how I can move forward with my life in a way that suits me best.

Because I want to be a trained warrior of…






and more of the like.

i had the most amazing few moments here at warren falls in vermont last weekend. it was peaceful and had a bit of an adventure-y feel too it.
i had the most amazing few moments here at warren falls in vermont last weekend. it was peaceful and had a bit of an adventure-y feel too it.











Truth is I am in a transition stage so I feel much much MUCH more aligned with these things than the first batch.

PHEW, right??

But those kind of thoughts pull me down way more often than I would like.

What has been really nagging at me is the need to go within, quiet my mind and find the answers.

So I am heeding the call!

Without drama or the need to make it perfect or rush the process.

I am a bit skeered but ready.

So tell, me when you think about going within, do you come up against resistance or fear or overwhelm?

I am thinking that it is totally natural too and that there are many reasons for this but truth be told there is nothing for us to be afraid of. It will probably instigate some very needed healing (which is not always easy!).

I’d love to hear your thoughts so please feel free to comment!

And if you have enjoyed this blog post and/or this whole idea of a self-care journey, please like or comment and share with anyone you think would benefit from this conversation.

Thank you!



Rewrite, rework, refine (Mindset Monday)

When I first began writing and reading my Mindset Book last winter, I first used it as an action plan kind of thing and a journal.

Then it got more specific and I began to write intentions and affirmations (ones that felt true to me and enough of a stretch without feeling completely ridonkulous).

Recently, I started a whole new book with some pretty hard core intentions that are super specific.


One has already come true in that book as did some of the things in the original book.

On our journey to what’s next, what’s now and what’s up we need to rewrite, rework and refine.

I actually didn’t know this!

I thought I’d write it and then just keep reading that until it all came true.


But what I realized is that for one, you just have to get started. Start writing stuff down however it comes to you.

You then can feel out each statement and tweak it.

I just realized last week that much of what I am writing down is not super specific and goodness knows, the Universe (or the Big U as I like to call it) LOVES specifics.

Previously, the vague declarations felt just right.

But now, as things have been really flowing, I have more clarity and wanted what I was reading to reprogram my brain to be in more alignment with this next phase. So I got clear!

Your clarity evokes serious Universal energy your way helping you flow in exactly the right direction.

But so many times there is no clarity until we start digging. Start leaning into what we want. Get our hands (and spirit) on how we want to feel.

So get writing.

Get some clarity.

Or just get it all out.

Then trim it down when the time feels right.

Rewrite, rework, refine…and of course REREAD (like all the time, I read my books twice a day).

Do it all this re-ing time or whenever you are inspired to do it.

And watch life unfold.

It actually IS that easy.