It says as an entrepreneur (or anyone with their own biz or life or life & biz) you have to pick 3 of these – work, family, sleep, fitness, friends.
It states that you cannot actually have or do it all – at least not those 5 things, you can only do 3 if you want to ‘survive.’
And I agree.
We can’t (especially us gals).
Can we reframe it all a bit?
Yes. We. Can.
Here are 9 ways we CAN do & have it all:
I think out of all of them, sleep is the most important. Depending on your age and what you have going on, this will be different for everyone. But as a 46 yo mom & wife who has a job and is working to build her own business, if I don’t get enough sleep I am useless in all aspects of my life. So sleep. For sure SLEEP.
2. THINK WEEKLY & MONTHLY, NOT DAILY
If you look at those things (work, family, friends, fitness, sleep), it’s unlikely you CAN do them all, every day.
Spread it all out over a week or a month.
Can you get to the gym or yoga 5 times this week?
But I bet you can over the next 2 weeks!
Can you invite your BFF to one of these yoga classes and then go for coffee after?
Not this week?
How about next?
Pencil that shit in.
Then it all doesn’t feel so overwhelming.
For me delegating means having the funds to do so. These funds are coming my way and when they do I will be delegating away! House cleaning, childcare, an assistant etc. What can you delegate to make this ‘pick 3’ list seem less daunting? Dooooooo it! And if you can’t do this….
4. ASK FOR HELP!
Many of us are trying to do it all. We can’t. We just can’t. Some days, sure, but every day for the rest of our lives? Noooooooo. So ask for help. If you cannot pay for help at the moment, ASK. Ask spouses/partners to take the kids for the day so you can work, workout, stare at a wall. Ask your BFF for help. Barter childcare & self-care. And speaking of self-care…
I think in this list, YOU are the common denominator so you must take care of YOU. Sleep, yes, but what else? Maybe a weekly date for yoga & coffee with your BFF is it. Maybe it’s a monthly massage. Maybe it’s prioritizing date night with your beloved. Whatever it is, do it, do it. Yesterday I found myself alone for a few hours & I sat on the couch, watched bad TV & ate ice cream out of the container. I didn’t even take off my coat. It felt great. It was what I needed. I COULD’VE written this blog post but I didn’t have it in me after my long day. So I woke up early & I’m writing away right now like a champ! This took care of me.
Last night I prioritized my downtime. I needed it. And it was rejuvenating. But these days with the goals I have, I must prioritize my time. I go to bed early. I get up early. I do my best to not embark on any draining activities like complaining, bitching, too much scrolling social media (I’m bad like that so I must lessen my habit!). I have committed to certain things and I’m doing them. Not every day but definitely every week. Put the important things in your calendar (physical or mental one) and stick to those things. Adjust when needed. See what works & what doesn’t.
7. BE IMPERFECT
The idea of ‘having it all’ is hard mostly because we think it all has to be perfect. And it has to be ALL, ALL of the time. No it doesn’t. And it can’t. We CAN have it all if we know it will not look like a pretty picture a lot of the time. Find balance in the imbalance of it all. Go with the flow more. Give less f*cks. Easier said than done a lot of the time, yes, but give it a try! And remember: YOU ARE ENOUGH.
8. KEEP TRYING
Some days, weeks, months life will throw you curve ball after curve ball. Bring it, life! Because that is just what’s going to happen so you might as well surrender to it. So when your days, weeks, months get away from you, give all the aspects of your life a good look. What’s working? What’s not? What can you prioritize? What can you delegate? Where can you surrender & let go? Are you getting enough sleep??? Adjust & keep trying.
Have some fun damn it! Schedule it in. Make FUN a priority. Your soul & everyone in your life will thank you for it.
There are plenty more, ya? Getting out in nature & unplugging to nurture you soul, things like that are so important too, so whatever it is for you, these or anything, do it.
Which one(s) of these speaks to you the most?
Do you think it CAN be done?
Do you think YOU can do it?
Tell us in the comments below!
And if you found this post inspiring, helpful or just plain entertaining, please share!
They’re all words that are in our every day vernacular.
But for many of us, they all have a much deeper meaning.
And for a lot of us, all of these words are just crazy-making and have been for our whole lives.
In my teens, 20s & 30s, I gave a majority of my energy, my precious mental energy, to thinking about how fat I was and how I could quickly get skinny.
Now, in my 40s, I would LOVE to be as ‘fat’ as I thought I was!
I have put on weight.
I am carrying extra weight.
But for the first time in my life, I do not give it a lot of mental energy.
And when I do – because I do out of habit, a lifetime of habit – I shift myself away from these thoughts.
My precious mental energy, my spirit & my life deserve so much more.
I found that over the past few year that any time I would decide to ‘diet’ or radically change my diet (read: restrict), I would become so cranky. So irritable. And kinda nasty to those I love.
My spirit cried out. ‘Oh girlfriend, not again with this!!!’
So I stopped. Stopped thinking about dieting, losing weight and being ‘thin.’
And whenever I did, I just shifted my thoughts.
AWAY AWAY AWAY from ‘You are fat’ type of thoughts.
I have allowed myself to eat whatever I want.
Whenever I want.
And guess what?
I have gained weight.
And while this is not the best thing ever, or the most surprising thing ever, I don’t worry too much about it.
Because I cannot remember the last time I binged.
I did a lot of binge-before-dieting type behavior and that has added to my weight gain.
Now I rarely feel ‘sick’ after eating.
I used to eat A LOT because I knew I would be dieting, fasting or cleansing soon. Knew that soon I would be cutting all the horrible things out of my diet so I constantly overate as if I was in a panic. Exhausting, I tell ya.
And I’d feel very stuffed & bloated all the time. And I felt ‘sick’ so no wonder I felt the need to fast, cleanse, take a break from ‘bad’ foods.
I hardly ever do now.
I used to eat a TON of pasta because I knew that I ‘shouldn’t’ and would be cutting it out of my diet ASAP.
I love pasta and eat it now, occasionally. Some weeks more than others but I do not crave it like crazy like before.
I used to go out to eat to ‘treat’ myself before the big restriction was coming and I had a favorite place that included a very large meal & boozy drinks that I would have (read: stuff madly into my pie hole).
I can’t remember the last time I did that.
So while I am carrying extra weight, I am mentally lighter.
I am less stressed and less crabby around this stuff.
I eat well, often quite ‘healthy.’
My goal is to completely trust that my physical being will catch up with my spiritual & mental lightness and I will be able to achieve a weight that is perfect for me and do this easily.
And the more I focus on creating a mindset that is positive & full of possibility, ease, miracles & fun the more easy it is to make good decisions for myself. It has really works wonder. My mindset has become my biggest asset – ass size be damned! 😉
But seriously, I have stopped gaining weight and whilst I’m at a plateau, I feel good.
My spirit, my soul & my personality love variety, experiences, freedom & fun. Eating a restrictive diet of ANY kind, I have now learned (slowly but surely), makes me a complete nutbag, a bitch & a sad sack. Just a big ole sack o’ sad. I KNOW how to eat well. I KNOW I can eat what I want in a normal capacity especially if I’m not feeling like a crazed animal locked in a cage (cuz then I eat everything in sight). I love things like green juice, smoothies, salads & all kinds of healthy foods. But I crave variety & freedom so the thought of ONLY eating these foods does my spirit no. good. I am learning to trust myself and out of that trust has come a much more balanced way of eating. And that feels good.
I recently joined a gym. To keep my body moving through our chilly (although not lately!) New England winter. No big goals. No stressful goals. Just movement. Keeping moving is so important, mostly because it feels good!
So heavy & happy?
Yup, pretty much!
And yup, I have to continually remind myself that while I could easily lose weight fast with a very restrictive diet & lots of exercise, I want to be in a place where I do not have to do that. I want to enjoy life, experience everything. Not worry about what I am eating. And as I slowly but surely trust myself & know that it’s all coming together because I FEEL so much better mentally, I will get to a place of balance – body, mind & spirit.
Patience, trust, gratitude.
That’s where it’s at.
That’s where I’m at (or at least shift to when I’m not). Some days/weeks go better than others but after a lifetime of this, it takes time to not to think the thoughts you always have. Patience, I remind myself, patience. And remembering how good I feel, how ‘light’ my mind feels is so very important!
I hope that wherever you are in your journey to making peace with yourself (if you have to like I do), that you are patient, kind, trusting & feeling grateful for the awesome & strong person you are.
Because you really are.
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I’M GOING TO UNFUCK MYSELF & SHINE LIKE I’M SUPPOSED TO!
Like this lil adorable 8 yo me:
This meme really spoke to me with it’s powerful F-word placement and sentiment (and I have no idea who wrote it so if you know, please let me know so I can give them credit, thanks). It spoke to my soul. My fucked up soul that I so want to unfuck so that I can shine.
So YES! random meme on my Facebook feed, I love you. And thank you. WOW. Let’s all unfuck ourselves and shine shine SHINE! FUCK!!!!!!
That’s what was going through my head for weeks after I saw it.
It brought me to tears many times, I’m totally serious.
But I wanted to be Yoda and get into the zone of unfucking.
Yet as much as this spoke to me, it got me thinking.
What if I actually CANNOT unfuck myself?
What if, this is it? This is me. All fucked up and crazytown.
Because I’ve been here before, trying to fix myself and in turn just making myself more miserable and nutty.
But this unfucking idea and, even more, this shining bright idea, was still sitting strongly with me.
I liked it.
I GOT it.
I had been a little shiny being and one day or over time, my beliefs turned into truths. These beliefs – I am too much. I am not worthy. I cannot shine.
And whether it was from society or my own karma/journey, I took these beliefs all to heart, made them truths and became fucked. Sure there’s a whole bunch of other stuffs that created these beliefs but there’s no point in getting into all of that.
I wanted to shine!
I WANT TO SHINE!
I think we should all shine!
Big and bright and loud and proud.
But if we’re fucked, can we?
Of course we can.
And whether we can unfuck ourselves (alone or with the help of a professional) or NOT, we sure can shine & be ourselves.
And NOT in spite of ourselves and NOT with the energy of ‘Yup, I’m fucked but shining anyway’ wah wah.
But with conviction.
With compassion for ourselves.
With knowing we are on a journey and if it is our wish, our deepest wish, to shine bright then we CAN and we SHOULD. WE MUST
So many of us have things to share, work to do in this world to do & people to help.
No matter where we are at.
No matter where we have been.
No matter what beliefs have become truths.
We are here to shine.
All of us, all the parts of us.
We cannot wait until we are unfucked.
We cannot wait until we are fixed.
That shit just may never happen.
And so what?!?!?!?
There is work to do, light to shine, spirits to soar.
So not too long after I saw the meme above, I saw this meme (it’s meme-o-rama! you. cannot. escape. them. no. matter. how. hard. you. try.) from one of my very favorite social media follows Thug Unicorn (just the name is so completely fucking awesome).