Can I grow enough balls to do what I want to do?

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It seems as though I am learning a lot lately about myself and about the world and it is coming fast and furious.

I have this great idea for a positive, inspiring, cheer-you-on-to-greatness kind of Facebook page and website.

And I was thinking I would do it anonymously.

BECAUSE I DO NOT HAVE THE BALLS TO DO IT MYSELF, LEADING THE WAY.

Why?

Because I do not know if I can stand in positivity all the time.

I do not know if I quite buy into all the self-help bs sometimes.

Can I be me and run a website and a Facebook page that is really all about tapping into the flow of possibility, freedom, love and miracles when sometimes I feel like a raging bitch and wanna run away from my life and myself?

If I get out of my own way and grow a pair, so-to-speak, I probably can.

Maybe it is what I am supposed to do, stand for all of this EVEN WHEN EVERYTHING SUCKS BALLS.

Maybe I just want to write an occasional blog post that says ‘balls’ a lot. ๐Ÿ™‚

I am torn between the spirituality and personal growth that is flowy and white and peaceful and so now and the spirituality and personal growth PROCESS that is (or can be) ugly, messy, hard, exhausting, frightening and feeling like it is all a bunch of bullshit.

I really see myself as a leader and I have a lot to say.

Some of it is RIDICULOUSLY sunny and cheerleaderly and you-can-do-it and I love you and 1000% sincere.

And the other part is, OMG life is hard, things are DAAAAAAAAAARK, and all of this rainbows and kittens bs can go fuck itself.

Yup, it’s like that.

So that is why the idea of anonymously running a positivity website feels better than being ‘me’ and standing for all of it but yet being kind of unsure of how I feel about all the details. And the fact that I like to say fuck and balls and shit. All while talking about the Divine and love and miracles and shit!

If you can relate, let me know.

I am considering heading this way for this blog and my own Facebook page with my very own name on it. And I DO actually play with this idea, as you know, if you follow my crazy path all around.

A friend said, what you do, it’s like spirituality with balls or ballsy spirituality!

I liked that a lot.

You know, mostly because she said balls.

But since I am still working out the details, I feel uncomfortable stepping fully forward.

Ugh.

So I thought I’d write this blog post and see what happens.

Thanks for reading and following along!!!

Love,

Adrienne

PS Facebook page is here.

PPS I do Angel Card Readings – no bs, straight forward, intuitive guidance that give you the tools to move forward in your life. Don’t stay stuck, contact me to help you!! aemartin4(at)gmail(dot)com

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