Illness Gratitude

thank you

Since December, I have had the stomach flu, two head colds, the regular flu flu, and currently bilateral knee inflammation.

Good times.

But let’s back up a bit and tell a lil story.

Around my 43rd birthday in early November, I panicked and felt that if I did not begin to reach for my dreams I was going to wake up in twenty years and not have accomplished any of my goals.

So I embarked on a P-L-A-N.

Isn’t there a quote ‘If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans?’

plan

Well, I am sure someone is laughing because my plan was in vain.

But it did not start out that way.

I was ON IT.

I picked a date to ‘launch,’ I was creating, excited, waking up early every morning, intending and focusing on service.

Doing all the right things….so I thought.

Then I got sick with the stomach flu. No big deal as we know, the flu virus is crazy this year and I have little kids and we all passed it around. It look way longer to recover and even longer to get back on track with my ‘plan.’

Then I got a head cold. And then another one.

THEN the regular flu (fever, aches, chills, fatigue).

So now it is mid January and I am WAY behind schedule.

I begin to think about a lot of things.

First, I do not get sick very often. If I do it is quick and fairly painless. This was very out of the ordinary for me and I know that this was a out of the ordinary year for the flu, but still. This didn’t seem right.

I began to think maybe this was my body’s way of saying things were off all around. I do not have a very stressful life (by design) but I was putting a lot of pressure on myself to move forward with my business. I was worrying about money a lot. I was looking at my deadline and feeling overwhelmed and a lil crazy town. I knew there was more to begin sick than just being physically ill.

THEN last week, both my knees blew up. I have a history of knee inflammation since I got a virus as a child but this was ENOUGH!

Message received loud and clear.

I was not paying attention to what I needed to do, I was stretching myself to far and not being true to my own rhythms and needs.

So my physical body decided to made it impossible for me to move forward in the way that I was.

For the last few weeks I have slowed down and decided to take my time. I have decided to move forward with things but much MUCH more slowly. I had big visions and while they will for sure be revisited but not yet. I am focusing on one or two things (instead of four like I had planned) and seeing where it all goes. With intention and focus but treading much more lightly and not being overly attached to outcome, to deadlines, to anything really.

So THANK YOU influenza virus of 2012/2013.

Thank you.

I am eternally grateful for being forced to slow down (even if it was just slowing my own crazy mind down). Grateful that I was forced to rethink my ‘plan.’

I am grateful that I am not giving up. I know my ‘plan’ was rich with good good stuff to share and do. But I am going to move forward in smaller chunks. Less pressure. More presence and joy. It wasn’t all easy. Being sick blows. Being forced to look at your crap blows even more. Tears flowed, pillows were punched, heavy sighs exhaled.

But in the end I am grateful that I got to deal with all of this. It gave me clarity and helped me realize what was important.

Agh, much better.

Have you ever had a similar experience where you were forced to slow down and regroup?

Tell us in the comments below.

Thanks!

Love,

Adrienne

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7 thoughts on “Illness Gratitude”

  1. Adrienne, ONE day at a time, Sis…..
    I’ve been out of work for nearly three months now but I STILL remain confident that my DREAM job is on it’s way and SOON. My body has rebelled a couple of times in that three months and since I no longer have health insurance, I MUST take the time to take care of myself FIRST then get back to the plan so, while I have the time, I lay down. As you know, I have my Mother to check on also and I do….every day.
    So, in the meantime, I worked even harder on my favorite pastime, hand-made greeting cards, and sold several boxes to people who only saw one sample of my work!
    Every set back has to be viewed as an opportunity to regroup and sometimes in doing so, you get MORE insight into your original plan or create a NEW one!

    Nina

    1. Thank you Nina, for sharing your story and some of the things you have done to help yourself along the way. I know your faith is strong too, and that is always a source of peace. Hey, how about a little facebook page for your cards? So you can share with your friends and they can share with theirs? It’s easy to do! If you need help, just let me know! xoxo

      1. I would really like to get your help with an FB page A! Let me know when you have time to discuss. Thank you!

  2. Yup. When i was doing a lot of spiritual work back in 2002 – every time I’d have a big awareness and opening, I’d get sick after. I’ve learned that big internal shifts shake us up energetically and out bodies often “get sick” in the process of letting go an and releasing the old stuck energy.

    I also have experienced getting sick as a form of resistance to my breaking out of my old status quo patterns and becoming bigger and brighter than before.

    These past few months there has been a lot of energy shifting for all of us and big dreams activated. I’m seeing (and experiencing) many of my powerful women friends who are up to BIG things going through lots of cycles of getting sick as they are expanding into their greatness. I feel it’s our bodies trying to learn how to interface with the much bigger beings we are becoming.

    I’m excited to see what you are creating Adrienne!

    1. Leah, I cannot thank you enough for this comment. It is all so so true. I have seen all of this as a sign of resistance. But yet pushing thru TOO hard did not feel right and many times I just couldn’t so I had to really look at that. I AM shifting and I CANNOT think for a second that all this crap is not part of the shift. Thanks again. LOVE what you said. Thank you Thank you!! xoxo

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