The plight of a Conforming Non-Conformist

When I was a little girl, one of my favorite books was Harriet the Spy.

In one of the books, in 9 year old Harriet’s voice, a chapter opens with:

‘I am a non-conformist.’

I didn’t even know what a non-conformist was, but I knew I desperately wanted to be one. Or at least believe something with conviction, like Harriet, and then state it with confidence.

But that never happened, well, not exactly.

I’ve always desperately wanted to be different but at exactly the same time I have wanted to be just like everyone else.

I love edgy, fringy-type stuff and things (and people) that do not fit into the box of what society ‘says’ we are to do/say/think. I have always rubbed up against all that but never really taken the step to completely join in or claim anything as my own. Probably because I love all things pop culture and silly and cute. I love fitting in, the ideal being ‘popular,’ and cute boys. 😉 It seems as though you cannot do both, conform AND non-conform.

So where does a gal like me go? Where is my tribe?

I claim nothing. I feel democrats and republicans have worthy things to say but feel neither is really what we need. I love wearing black (a lot) and big, chunky shoes but also love floral retro/vintage girly dresses. I once slam-danced (but it hurt! owwww!) and LOVE loud heavy metal and punk rock. But I also sing at the top of my lung to Kelly Clarkson and Justin Timberlake and can sing pretty much any Top 40 song on the radio right now (message me and I will give you my phone number and I will sing for you! I’m a wicked good singer). I will eat a salad as big as beach ball and spent many years preaching the benefits of raw food but these days I eat an occasional burger! I went many years without a television and will sometimes not watch tv for many weeks but I am currently deep into the latest Keeping Up With The Kardashians season on E.

The list goes on and on.

So I decided to claim it. Whatever ‘it’ is.

I am a Conforming Non-Conformist!

I embrace all my likes and dislikes and I’m happy for you and all you love or do not love.

I think our society loves a label and many folks feel super comfy when they can join something and feel part of something. I get that totally because I feel that way too. But never enough to join in or wave any kind of flag. I can’t pigeon hole myself into a ‘thing.’ I love it all!

Sometimes it is lonely because there’s not a tribe to fit in with or a group to hang out with where you feel like ‘these are my PEOPLE!’

BUT I love my friends and their diverse personalities and the fact they they put up with me and all my nut bag-i-ness. And I am loving meeting new people (you know who you are!) who are exploring this world with the same kind of wonder and ‘let’s do this’ attitude.

I think now, in my forties (!!!) I am more comfortable with myself and my sometimes all-over-the-place personality. I am embracing it all and it feels good, as I am beginning to appreciate everything all the more because I am not trying to be cool or fit in or be edgy. Just more of an appreciator of things that I resonate with, whether they be ‘cool’ or ‘edgy’ or ‘normal’ or ‘status quo.’ And while sometimes it is a lil lonely, I don’t feel sad about it, I just think:

IT’S ALL GOOD! As my friend Jodi likes to say.

What are your thoughts?

Conformist?

Non-conformist?

Joining me in my conforming non-conformist parade of whatever?

Do tell.

Love,

Adrienne

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